Life with Julianne was so new and so fun that we spent nearly two years gushing over her until we finally decided to add to our little family. I was so naive and thought that getting pregnant the second time around would be just as easy as the first. We spent 5 long months trying to get pregnant until we finally got a positive pregnancy test. I was over the moon and prayed every night for a healthy, red headed, baby girl.
My pregnancy was so much more different than it was with Jules. I was extremely nauseous this time around & chasing around a toddler was difficult when all I wanted to do was sleep. I was also monitored a little closer since I was considered a high risk pregnancy. Jules was born 3 weeks early, due to some very severe preeclampsia, so we were desperately trying to avoid that. There were no warning signs and everything seemed to be going smoothly, until it came time for that darn glucose test. You know that one drink that every pregnant woman loves? I tested positive, so I spent a week in and out of the doctors trying to figure out what was going on. Everything finally came back normal but my blood pressure was slightly high. It never went back down, it just stayed at that border line level for the next couple of weeks and we monitored it very closely.
I went in for my regular 39 week check up and my blood pressure had gone up slightly but due to my history with preeclampsia I was sent over to labor and delivery for monitoring. I was 1cm dilated and for sure thought I was going home after the test results came in. My nurse came in about an hour later and said that my blood work came back negative for preeclampsia but since my blood pressure was slightly elevated and to my surprise, I was in early labor and having contractions, the doctor wanted to induce. That's when reality set in.
I started panicking because my birth experience with Jules was just so terrible. It's actually one of the reasons I waited so long before having another. Not only did I have a bad experience with my nurses but my preeclampsia with Jules was so bad that my blood pressure spiked right before she was born and the doctor ultimately had to vacuum her out. I also ran a terrible fever which led to a possible infection for baby, which led to me not getting to carry her for the first couple of days. The second she was born she was whisked into the nicu where she stayed for the next week. Not getting to snuggle your first baby for days or experience that special skin to skin bonding and having to leave the hospital without her was devastating. All these terrible emotions flooded me. I was paranoid and asked way too many questions, I had the nurse check everything twice, and probably annoyed everyone working that night! I really just wanted a normal delivery experience.
We were admitted into a room at just about 8 pm. The pitocin was started and my contractions were pretty steady, just about every 5-10 minutes apart. The doctor came in to check me and said that the baby was still pretty high so he wanted to break my water. I was laying on my side at the time, the second I turned I felt a huge gush. My water broke. We all laughed and said that Kourtney knew what he was going to do so she decided to do it herself. Which is totally her personality, always one step ahead of everyone!
My contractions continued to get stronger and closer together. They were so close because of the pitocin that I was unable to get any rest in between. I again started to panic because I knew I needed the epidural and was so scared I was not going to be able to stay still for it. Around 10 pm, I let my nurse know that I was ready so she called the anesthesiologist. I asked her every single question about the epidural and pretty much started to freak out because I could barely get a word out due to the contractions. I kept telling her I wasn't going to be able to do it because there was no way I was going to be able to sit still. By the time he got there my contractions were literally on top of each other. I was given a very firm talk about how still I had to be during the procedure, which of course makes the whole situation worse when you can't even think straight. I remember having my head down looking at the nurses shoes, while pinching my thumb through the contractions. It seemed like it took forever to get the epidural but once I got it I was relieved and of course, I got it during one of my contractions, which was my worst fear. I still don't know how the heck I got through that.
I was able to get some rest for the next couple of hours. The nurse checked me and let me know that I was progressing just like they wanted and she predicted the baby would arrive later the next day. I urged her to check me around midnight, I was that annoying patient, haha. She reminded me that this was probably going to take a while but to her surprise I was already at 9cm. She began to get things ready and I started to imagine what my baby was going to look like, how I was going to love another, and if I was going to experience that amazing connection you get the first time you carry your baby. 12:30 rolled around and she checked me again. She asked if I felt the need to push, I said YES!! So she had me push once, she sort of panicked and told me not to push because the baby was already coming. She ran out of the room and told me to try my best to wait. I remember telling Jason I couldn't wait, we both kind of looked at each other in panic. The doctor finally arrived, I told him I wanted to hold her and that if anything was going wrong to let me know, along with all my other crazy questions and concerns. He assured me I was going to get to hold her and that everything was going smoothly. I pushed 3 times and Kourtney Jay was born early Friday morning at 1:05 am.
Everyone screamed "she has red hair" as they placed her on me and I finally got to experience that special moment when a mom holds her baby for the first time. I cried hysterically and kissed her and hugged her and kept thanking her for choosing me and how much I loved her. It seemed like nothing else was going on in the room at that moment, like it was just me and her. It was so special and I still cry just thinking about it. The love was an instant love, like I had loved her forever, just like I love her sister. Our hospital does family bonding time, so Jason and I were left alone with her for as long as we wanted, no weighing, measuring, washing, noting. It was just the three of us. We oohed and awed over her for over an hour when Jason finally asked if he could carry her. Time was at a standstill and I was enjoying that bonding time that I didn't even realize I was hogging her all up. I couldn't believe that Kourtney was finally here and how much she looked like her sister. Our family felt so complete, I felt so complete. Kourtney really is a dream come true, she is everything we prayed for and more. I am truly undeserving of all the amazingness in my life and I thank God everyday for blessing me with the best.
Jules on the left and Kourtney on the right
Happy first birthday Kourtney! Thank you for choosing us, for keeping us on our toes and for teaching us how to slow down and enjoy every second. Always remember, mommy loves you most!
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